and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
