Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
