i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
