i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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