ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
