they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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