im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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