is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
