I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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