you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
