I could make wine with my vomit
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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