ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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