Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
