Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
