Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
