Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
there was a trapeze. enough said
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
