i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I smell stomach acid.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize