Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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