Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
