he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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