I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
