There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
