I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
