Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
