Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
