Redeem this text for a blowjob
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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