This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
a search helicopter?!
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
