EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize