why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
