now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
