guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
