How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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