you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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