either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
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When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
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It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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