i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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