Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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