Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
