That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
