you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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