You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
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On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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