if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
whose parrot is this?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
