this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
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