Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
