i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
