Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So vagazzling was a success
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
