she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
