So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
