That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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