Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
