I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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