none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
All the doctor said was why
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
