the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
