my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
