i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
