If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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