Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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