Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
