why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I made him laugh his dick is mine
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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