Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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