I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize